so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
