i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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