Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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