I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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