Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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