he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
