she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
