as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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