Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
