He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
