we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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