Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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