They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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