What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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