A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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