is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
