everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
