Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
