I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
