You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
