she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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