I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
