i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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