Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
