My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How naked do you want me to be?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
