please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
