We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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