morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
