Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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