Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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