we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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