Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Houston, we have a squirter
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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