Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
