hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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