Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no, he came in my armpit
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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