Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
