On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
