so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
