You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
