Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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