Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
