fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
