She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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