Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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