I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
