CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
