Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
