haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
