Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
