I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you would pick up someone in the library
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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