Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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